The most common mistake connectors make is the surprise introduction. They decide two parties should meet, they send an email connecting them, and they hope for the best. Sometimes it works. More often, one or both parties is confused about who this person is, why they are being introduced, and what they are supposed to do next. The conversation stalls before it starts.
I never do surprise introductions. Every introduction I make goes through a double opt-in process — where both parties have confirmed genuine interest before I connect them. This single process change is what separates introductions that move capital from ones that disappear into ignored email threads.
Why Double Opt-In Matters
A surprise introduction puts both parties in an awkward position. The investor has not confirmed they are interested in this deal. The developer has not confirmed they want this investor. Neither knows what the other expects. So neither acts — and the introduction dies.
A double opt-in introduction is different. By the time I connect two parties, both have already said "yes, I want to have this conversation." The first message they receive from each other is not the beginning of a qualifying process — it is a confirmation of a conversation they are already expecting. That changes the dynamic entirely.
"The introduction is not the connection email. The introduction starts the moment I approach the first party. Everything before the email is the real work."
The Exact Process
Step 1 — Qualify Both Sides Independently
Before I even think about an introduction, I have done detailed qualification calls with both the investor and the developer separately. I know the investor's check size, asset class preference, return expectations, and deployment timeline. I know the developer's project details, raise amount, track record, and close timeline. I have confirmed that on paper, this is a genuine match.
Step 2 — Approach the Supply Side First
I always go to the investor first. I reach out privately — not connecting anyone yet — and describe the developer and the deal in enough detail for the investor to make a real decision. "I have a developer raising $3M for a 64-unit value-add multifamily project in Dallas. 18% projected IRR, 24-month hold. Their last deal returned 22%. Is this something you would want to see more on?"
I wait for a genuine yes before moving forward. Not a polite "sure, send it over" — a real confirmation of interest. If the investor is lukewarm, I do not proceed. I go back to my network and find a better match.
Step 3 — Preview to the Demand Side
Once the investor has confirmed interest, I go to the developer. I tell them I have a specific investor who has reviewed their deal profile and wants an introduction. I describe the investor — fund size, typical check, past deals — and confirm the developer wants to proceed.
This step matters because developers sometimes change their mind about who they want capital from. Maybe they have a conflict with this investor's fund structure. Maybe they have heard something about this person from someone in their network. Better to know now than after the introduction has been made.
Step 4 — Deliver the Introduction
Only now — with both parties having confirmed interest — do I send the introduction email. It is short and specific. One paragraph on the developer and their deal. One paragraph on the investor and why they are a fit. A clear statement that both parties are expecting this introduction. Then I step back.
- Subject line: [Investor First Name] — meet [Developer First Name]
- One sentence on who the developer is and what they are raising for
- One sentence on the deal — size, asset class, location, projected return
- One sentence on who the investor is and why they are the right fit
- A clear statement that both parties have confirmed interest and are expecting this connection
- My name and a step back — the conversation belongs to them now
What Happens After the Introduction
I follow up with the developer five days after the introduction to check if the conversation started. If it did not, I follow up once more. If it still has not, I let it go — some introductions do not connect despite good timing and good matching, and that is fine. The process was right even if the outcome did not materialise immediately.
I track every introduction in a simple system — date, parties, deal, outcome. Over time, that tracking tells me which types of matches work, which investors move fastest, which developers are most organised. It makes every subsequent introduction sharper.
The double opt-in system is not complicated. But it requires patience — more touches, more qualification, more back-and-forth before anyone gets connected. That patience is what makes the introduction worth something when it arrives. If you are ready to be part of this process — as an investor or a developer — book a 30-minute call and let us start the qualification.